“I ate all the Cookies.” (15 minute freewrite)
Ok, so there was a bank heist. On this tv show I was watching. And while I was watching it, my little brother tried to climb up on this counter to get some cookies and fell, and busted his head.
I was going to get in a HUGE amount of trouble. First of all, I’m older, and so, you know, I’m responsible and stuff. Second of all, I had eaten all of the cookies, which is why he was searching up there in the first place.
My first thought was to call my older sister. And then I realized the implications of this immediately. She’ll call Mom, Mom will call Dad, and Dad will beat the living shit out of me. So instead I carried my brother into the backyard, laid him down next to the geraniums, and put a baseball bat by his head, and a glove in his hand. And then I put the ball next to the place where he cracked his head open.
Then I ran next door, screaming out to my neighbor, Glennis, or Mrs. Connor as everyone calls her, but I call her Glennis because I feel, at 14, I think it makes me seem mature.
She opens up her ranch home door, which is blaring AC inside. Upon seeing my face, which is frantic and panic stricken, she puts down her ice tea and runs behind me. It’s kinda cool how I didn’t have to say anything, she just knows that something is terrible. It’s like that time my mom came to tell me that our dog had been hit by a car, and I was masturbating in the bathroom, and she says “Sam! Come out!” But I’m right in the middle of something, so I say “In a MINUTE!”
Actually on second thought, it’s like the opposite of that.
So she, Mrs. Connor is running behind me and we get to the backyard. She tells me to call the 911, and she says it like that too: “Go call the 911!” Like she thinks that how people talk, adding “the” to things that have no need for “the”. I run inside, call 911 and pretty soon the paramedics are at the door.
Now this is when it gets awkward.
My brother, they quickly ascertain is fine. He has a mild concussion, but it’s just a small cut. What’s problematic now, is that everyone is really confused as to what happened. My brother can’t remember how he got into the back yard, and no one can figure out what, by the looks of the scene, could have happened.
“I think maybe the ball must have hit him,” says Mr. O'Connor.
“No, that doesn’t make any sense, he has a cut on his head, and the ball is clean.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” says the second paramedic,“It could have hit him, and then he started bleeding.
"Well, if he was playing ball, then why is he holding a bat and a glove?”
“He’s 8, kids are stupid,” says the second paramedic.
And next thing I know, they paramedic, the smaller one is getting pushed by the Mr. O'Connor. And these grown men are on the ground fighting while I’m in the kitchen pretending to pour them all some water. I know people say the heat makes people do crazy things, but this just seemed ridiculous.